Thursday, January 25, 2007

Percentages

So, here is my question to you:
What percentage of a child's behavior is parenting vs. what percentage is their personality? I'm sure that parents with great kids say 80/20 and people with kids who bounce off the walls say 20/80. Let's see what you say - doesn't matter if you have kids or not. The more votes the better please!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi!

Well, I have a great kid, and I still think it's all personality. Love and reasonable parenting just brings the good stuff out. The good stuff has to be there to begin with, though.

I'll go with 30(parenting)/70(personality)

Anonymous said...

My opinion, based on teaching and raising children, is that it's about 50-50. Keep in mind, however, that parenting with a first child is not exactly the same as with a second, which means that nurturing changes as you get older (and wiser?) and more tired.

Kira said...

I really don't know. 50 50?
The best way would be to look at studies of adopted children.
Or, twins adopted and raised apart.
some of the twins adopted and raised apart, the personality similarities are amazing.

rachel said...

well, i personally think that it has a lot to do with the paradigms through which parents teach their children to see the world, how much love children see their parents bestow on other people, etc...but i think it also helps to give birth to two little angel children who it hurts not to hug. speaking of hugging, give charmat and benjamin big ones from me.

Anonymous said...

I also have a great kid, he is kind, smart and loving, however each year of growth has brought on new challenges and more independence. I think it is 80/20 or 70/ 30...leaning heaver toward personality which includes outside influence (school, friends). I agree that teh parenting brings out the good stuff and of course sometimes the not so good.

Anonymous said...

I have two wonderful kids with very different personalities. One is more head-strong than the other. Therefore, the parenting of them is different.

With my seven year old daughter I can reason and convince her that I am right. She will argue her point and give up when she sees she goes no-where. A simple, "no" would never do with her. This was like this since she started talking. It could be hours before she comes around with the next point for her cause, and at times she does convince me.

On the other hand, there in no point in discussing an issue with my five year old boy. He simply will not listen to a word I say unless it is the correct answer (from his point of view of course.) It has to be a clear-cut "yes" or "no" choice with a SHORT explanation, and I can NEVER EVER deviate from this because otherwise he will walk all over me. He will then throw a temper tantrum (and yes, they are getting shorter in duration) and then try to charme his way to success.

To summarize, my vote is 90% for parenting and 10% for personality. In my opinion, with the good and consistent parenting I can get the best out of my kids. I can't treat them the same because they have different personalities, but without clear rules and strict boundaries, which need to be enforced on a daily basis, the child could have the sweetest personality and still control you.

Okay, this wound up to be a lot longer than I thought, but I can't decide what to cut...